


Only the Best

by shutterbug



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Fun, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 05:49:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutterbug/pseuds/shutterbug
Summary: Nail polish, RuPaul, and...jealousy?My first House fic in a very, very long time. Years. Just a silly present for @iloveallofyounerds. Congrats on passing your courses!





	Only the Best

Wilson nearly collided with House when he turned the corner, headed for his office.

 _House_ nearly speared him with his cane. “Whoa, whoa. Are you’re--did you paint your _nails_?” House’s eyes locked onto Wilson’s hands, wide with mock-horror. 

Wilson’s shoulders fell, already defeated, as he peered at the ceiling--a helpless, useless appeal to an ambivalent God. “I--it was--a little girl in the--”

“Oh, don’t try to convince me it was a cancer kid. I know you were holed up in your office with a bottle of your wife’s Essie.”

“It was Revlon, but I don’t see how that--”

“Now that I think of it, I heard RuPaul asking for you in the lobby.”

Wilson snapped his mouth shut, already prepared to weather the inevitable.

House nodded toward the elevator. “Better _sashay_ down to your people.”

His eyes slid closed as he inhaled deeply.

“Do the toes match the fingers?” House asked.

He responded with silence, but the impatience in his exhale told House all he needed to know.

House snorted a chuckle.

“Look,” Wilson said. “She’s really sick.”  

“I can tell. Couldn’t keep it inside the nail, huh? Painted almost as much of your skin as your nails.” House _tsk_ ed. “Amateur.”

House fell silent for a merciful moment. Until: “You know, your birthday is coming up. You want a pair of open-toed, strappy heels to show off those pretty, _pretty_ toesies?”

A smile spread across Wilson’s face, exasperated but--he had to admit--amused. “You know what _I_ think?”

“That a deep plum would have worked better with your complexion?”

He pointed. “ _You’re_ jealous.”

House seemed unfazed. “Oh, but who wouldn’t be jealous of cuticles like that?”

“No, really.” Wilson wagged his finger at him. “RuPaul. Strappy heels. Don’t think I didn’t hear about that trip to Hamburger Mary’s when you were away in Jacksonville.”

Wilson nearly hooted to celebrate his small victory when House rolled his eyes and mumbled, “I was seduced.”  

“By a _man_.”

“Who looked like a _woman_.”

Wilson chalked another point for himself at the edginess in House’s voice. “You’re a _doctor_!”

House’s pace increased as he neared his office. “ _And_? You think I asked her if I could check under the hood? That’s just _rude_.” House threw open his office door and hurried toward his desk.  

Shaking his head, but feeling the warmth of a win, Wilson smiled. “I want Manolos!” he shouted, before House’s office door closed. “No knock-offs!”

“Only the best for my baby!”


End file.
